Aaj ka Gendaraj

This is a tale, long and untrue,
Who cares right? As long as its fundoo.
For one day will come when the people of this tale,
Will kill me or slaughter me, one and the same.

Once upon a time there lived,
Tichya, a roadside Ragamuffin,
She stole to fill her empty stomach,
About anything else, she didn’t give a fuck. (:P Poetic license!)

Once she stole a loaf of bread,
Dogs followed on her trail,
She tried to get away, but ran into them instead,
She got caught, miserably she failed.

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself girl?" said he,
The Baker was strict and stern.
"Being a girl, you do all this?" claimed he,
And she was left, merely out of concern.

"Bah!" said the stupid, stupid girl,
Ignoring the fact that it saved her,
"Being a boy would be super" said she with a smirk,
Decided to leave her feminine nature.

Off to Witch Tofu she trotted,
Singing along the way,
Tofu was an old friend of hers.
NO. SHE WASN'T GAY.

Tofu had hardened over the years,
She wasn't fair, she didn't care,
She played on Tichya's worst fears,
And asked her for her hair.

"No way!" pleaded Tichya dryly,
"There must be another way than HAIR?"
"No Tichi,there isn't!" she said slyly,
"Fine then take'em- I DON'T CARE!"

So when Tofu was done with her,
Tichya had a bob.
Tofu laughed her wicked laugh,
And watched Tichya sob. (?)

She took Tichya's hair alright,
But no change occurred,
Maybe Tichya was boy-like already,
Although that’s absurd.

Tichya set off on her own,
Troubled and in despair,
She sat down in a clearing all alone,
And clutched what was remaining of her hair.

Suddenly, a sound, of horses and men,
She spun around Bewildered,
She was just backing out of the clearing,
When she recognised the King's Herd!

"We have an arrest warrant from the King."
"huh what?" said the dumb girl,
"ARREST! DUMB GIRL QUIT YOUR ASKING!"
"What?" said the dull girl, and ran off in a whirl.

She ran as fast as her feet could carry'er,
From one forest clearing to another,
What would she do? No sword no armor,
Finally she found a dude looking at'er.

"Help me I'm being pursued!" said she,
In all her frantic desperado,
But he jumped, he swore and shot off,
To hell with all bravado!

At this she her temper lost,
What a pathetic coward he was!
She ran after, thinking that at any cost,
Into him she shall dig her claws. (?)

The King's men followed her into the trees,
Finally both Coward and Girl were surrounded,
She yelled and DUDE! Her voice carries,
The King's Men already felt blighted.

While the weird-ass coward stood and stared,
The girl picked up a stick,
Bashed up the men; TWO HOOTS SHE CARED!
And left them a li'l brainsick.

Now she turned to have her say,
With the Coward Weird-ass Nitwit,
"I so didn't want to come in your way!"
He said, as though that explained it.

His name Abbu Dheela Pyjama he said,
His work, nothing at all,
The King had also wanted him dead,
All coz they'd had a brawl.

Friends they became eventually,
More Out of Necessity.
For Abbu absolutely sucked at self defense,
He'd rather go to sleep.

One day a dude wandered into the trees,
Late evening, maybe night.
He was singing oh-so-miserably,
He so didn't sound alright.

Tichya-Abbu went to talk to him,
Console him a bit,
Seemed to choke with misery to the brim,
Story was sad- have to admit.

"Name's Lampat Hariprasad Laandya mate"
As if the name wasn't enough.
"I'm the Court Jester till date"
That job didn't sound very tough.

"I'm in love with the King's Daughter."
At this Abbu choked on his spittle.
"What was THAT for?" said Lampat, welling with anger,
And Abbu after that, spoke very little.

"maybe we can help you." Said Tichya thoughtfully,
"We're on the run from the King right now,
"Yeah" said Abbu blandly,
"We shall impress you with our know-how."

"So!" said Laandya happily,
"What's the P.O.A?"
"For now-sleep," said Abbu wearily,
And so they slept till day.

Laandya soon realised,
that both were useless nuts.
So he sat and devised,
His own master plan of sorts.

"Ok first you," he said to the girl,
"Get caught by the king."
"Why should I get caught?" said the stubborn girl,
"Make HIM do that sort of thing!"

So Abbu was made to wander,
Right into the King's trap.
They thought he was an aimless beggar,
So took him to the king ASAP!

Laandya and Tichya followed,
All they needed to know,
Is where the Daughter's room was,
And then they'd turn to go.

They went right into the Main Courtroom,
Laandya and Tichya close behind,
They soon saw the Man whom,
They had learnt was one of a kind.

There he stood on a three-legged stool,
A sword in his tiny hand,
Smart,cunning and very cruel,
The King of this mighty land.

Gendaraj his name, and it was feared,
As everyone seemed to claim,
Beneath that chubby face and non-existent beard,
Was a scary soul aflame.

The great man seemed to be busy,
With something really WEIRD,
He seemed to be knighting all and sundry,
Which Tichya thought very absurd.

So busy was he, he didn't bother,
To see his new guests there,
"Shee!" said Tichya, "he's such a pooper!"
And Laandya agreed with no interim time to spare.

Suddenly a Virudhavali, a sound,
And everyone turned to see best,
And there a pwetty-wee lass was found,
But she looked distressed.

"Baba mi bore zaliye!"
She said with great anguish,
"Mi ithe basun basun vaytaagliye!"
Her tone was a li'l freakish.

"No problem dear Rohini," said the King happily,
"Today a Prince will come."
"Oh no, not a PRINCE," cried Laandya worriedly,
"Now of me WHAT WILL BECOME!"

Tichya thought she had had enough,
Of all this tish-tosh crap.
She ran out in the centre in all of a puff,
And decided to open her trap.

"Oh King who no one respects,
Please listen to one of us here,
For a change listen to your subjects
And prevent him from crying one more tear!"

The King looked at the "little" girl,
And guffawed loud and clear,
"Haha look at her guts, her gall,
To speak to me with no fear!"

Tichya scowled her most awful scowl,
Decided to look for help around,
She looked for Abbu through the crowd,
He had fallen asleep against the background.

But what she said had had an effect,
For when she spun back front,
People were arguing here and there,
The King was facing the brunt.

"Yeah she's right, he never thinks of us!"
said an old courtier up there,
"you're wrong! He's always thought of us!"
said the newly appointed heir.

Soon there was a fist fight,
An awesome one at that,
Who knew it were to carry into the night,
And leave Gendaraj flat?

Gendaraj was a smart man,
A very smart man indeed.
He whistled on a magic flute,
And he had what he did need.

Tofu came floating through the window,
And towards Gendaraj she drifted.
"Yes Gendya?" she said with a bow,
And towards the melee he-a finger lifted.

"Very well" said Tofu with a yawn,
And sounded one of her spells,
Whatever it was, was very long,
Tichya knew that all wasn't well.

The spell whizzed past people there,
To the lone man left out of the drama,
Before anyone could even care,
It had hit Abbu Dheela Pyjama!

Abbu's hair turned grey, his beard long,
He got a fantastic ponytail! (MUAHAHAHAHA!!! XD)
He got wrinkles,his pyjama became a sarong,
He looked like an old female.

He looked around for the first time,
With a look of shock no one saw,
He for some reason shouted "Laandya!"
And everyone looked around in awe.

Laandya was gone! So was someone else!
Gendaraj was fuming!
"Damn, where has Rohini gone?"
Everyone was only assuming.

It went off like a bomb,
Laandya had run off with the Rajkumari!
Abbu laughed at the aplomb,
Chuckled,"She ran off in a SARI!!!!"

The dipute went on for days on end,
A lot of fighting ensued.
No one knew who won in the end,
Coz there was no side to choose.


For some however this is not an end,
Gendaraj was in disgrace,
He tried but couldn't make amends,
He didn’t know where to show his face.

Of Tofu you'd wonder what can you say,
Well, I'll tell you (giggles)
She fell for a courtier whose name starts with "A",
And he got her around the middle.

Laandya and Rohini ran far away,
And had a lot of fun.
To each other they had a lot to say,
Rohini was just glad she found someone.

Tichya grew back her "shaggy" strands,
But now some happiness she lacked,
She now had a geriatric problem on her hands,
As Abbu hadn't been changed back.

He enjoyed his life as an old man,
Much more than his younger self,
He now told Tichya how he USED TO DO this and that,
And thought that suited him well.

This is the end of the great tale,
Of a few people I know well.
Some I haven't added in here,
Coz they didn't want me to tell! :D